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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404261">Maybe I Deserve It</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsOzzie/pseuds/itsOzzie'>itsOzzie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:14:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsOzzie/pseuds/itsOzzie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Her eyes seem to wander away from what was real for a moment. Then, before Barry could speak, Emma spoke again. “Maybe they're all right. I deserved this--it was my fucking fault I got my hopes up!”</p><p>Barry could see tears making Emma's eyes shine despite her attempt at hiding. “No. You deserve to be hopeful. You deserve to imagine a life beyond just surviving.”</p><p>Emma looked up at Barry and bit her lip harshly. He could see based on the way she still tried to seem as if she didn't care, emotionless, even, that she hadn't left survival mode in far too long.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Glickman &amp; Emma Nolan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Maybe I Deserve It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Nothing like getting fueled to write at 10:30 at night and then writing most of a fic from 11:45-12:30 after being subject to quiet replays of Dead Mom. That is the only combination of things that could possibly explain how loosely put together and spontaneous this will come across as. I'm probably gonna think it's shitty in the morning but I'll leave it here anyway.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drive back to Emma's house was the most mentally agonizing thing Barry had ever felt. And not only because he had failed. He failed Emma. So now, hours before Emma was supposed to be dropping her mystery girlfriend off at her house, he was driving Emma home. Her mystery girlfriend wasn't much of a mystery anymore, but that made it more painful. Even if Barry could only hear one end of that phone call, it was enough to comprehend what was happening on the other side.</p><p>Barry pulled into the driveway and undid his seatbelt so he could turn around and check on Emma, who had opted for a seat in the back of the truck and was still staring out the window as if she didn't process that she was home. The longer Barry looked at her, the worse she looked. She was ghastly pale, shaking like a leaf due to her sharp breaths, the gaps between them getting longer and longer, and she looked so small in a way Barry couldn't understand.</p><p>"Emma?"</p><p>But the worst part, the part that sent chills down his spine, the part that he would never truly shake from his conscience, was how Emma responded to her name at that moment.</p><p>"I'm--fine, Mr. Glickman--" After a few seconds to process that she was being spoken to, she hardly finished the rather simple sentence before she started wheezing.</p><p>Barry didn't have the heart to argue with her. Instead, he changed the subject, not quite filling the void of sadness as he whispered, “Do you wanna go inside?”</p><p>He gestured vaguely to the house. Emma looked out the window and blinked before nodding, every action separated by a beat of effort. She stepped down from the truck, but once her legs registered that she was on the ground, they buckled. As her face fumed with shame that Barry had to witness that, she tucked her head against her chest.</p><p>“Hey, kiddo, you're gonna be okay...I’ll help you up and we'll get some privacy, then we can talk if you want.”</p><p>“What's the point?” Emma's voice was bitter. “There's only...300 people living around here and they're all somehow involved with this.” Emma's arm dropped suddenly, a large flailing motion down her whole body. </p><p>Her eyes seem to wander away from what was real for a moment. Then, before Barry could speak, Emma spoke again. “Maybe they're all right. I deserved this--it was my fucking fault I got my hopes up!”</p><p>Barry could see tears making Emma's eyes shine despite her attempt at hiding. “No. You deserve to be hopeful. You deserve to imagine a life beyond just surviving.”</p><p>Emma looked up at Barry and bit her lip harshly. He could see based on the way she still tried to seem as if she didn't care, emotionless, even, that she hadn't left survival mode in far too long.</p><p>“You deserve to have feelings. That doesn't make you weak.” </p><p>Emma looked away and bit her lip harder as Barry continued.</p><p>“It's okay to be sad. That doesn't make you less deserving of love. And it's okay to need a shoulder to cry on, people are social at heart. All you need is the right person. And I'm right here. I know I fucked up, but I know that I was wrong and I want to do better.”</p><p>Suddenly Emma's lip started to bleed, and that was all she needed to go over the edge, and suddenly she couldn't control her guttural sobs.</p><p>Barry wrapped the crying girl in his arms, shielding her from further harm, and rubbing her  back.</p><p>“Let's get you into something comfortable, okay? Is it alright if I pick you up?”</p><p>Emma had lost all composure and knew she'd never make it inside alone. She could barely even nod, but Barry somehow understood and lifted her with ease.</p><p>There was one thing he knew for certain as the homely yellow light in Betsy's place illuminated Emma's reddened cheeks and the tears still gushing down them with no sign of slowing. The whole town of Edgewater was going to pay for this.</p>
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